working!!!

although my studies has ended, but i'm still busy because of work..
and i haven't been writing anything for a long time..
damn, i envy those who can write their blog daily..

I have always seeing this story in my dreams and my wake. Yet, I could never find the words, ways and courage to let the story unfold...

Slowly but surely, I would be able to tell the whole story...

Let a small piece of the the whole story be told...

My pleas to the night, let it be dark...
So the darkness that are shrouding me would never be seen...
So that they would never seen what monster lies beneath...

My pleas to the night, let only the moon shines...
Let no stars twinkling on the night sky...
Let no light would engulf me except for the moon's...

My pleas to the light, let me be...
Let me indulge in the dark that numbs me...
Let me be inside this addictive darkness...
Waiting....

The distance of time....

Once I watched an anime, Voice of a Distant Star. A story of two person that have somewhat mutual relationship with each other but with a distance of light years. As the girl moves away from him, the longer each messages that she sent takes to reach him.
Now, I can also feel part of what they feel. Being away just for a moment can also change a lot of things, I for certain felt that I'm a stranger in my own home...

Fortress of solitude: a place whom I can isolate myself, away from others that are important and loved by me. A place where I would sit, stare and starts to blame myself for every mistakes that happen, every pain that others feel, and every incidents that may I have already dream of before it happen.

Are the color of our soul is definite?

Bright, gloom, faded, many words can describe what your soul is painted with.
Unlike skins, hair and faces, we can never see it clearly until we fully understand our own self and reflect towards other action.

I've always reflected on my own ignorance, disobedience, pitiful self as I walk in this narrow corridor of my life.

Yet, The color always swayed away, changed by the situation that I'm in.
Which made me wonder, are the color of our soul is definite?

Distance of Time...

I was away from home for 3 weeks, and the next thing I knew was...
My father sold his Mitsubishi Storm...

It aches me more when I know that the car was gone the day before yesterday...
The trip home this time made me more aware, I'm becoming more of a stranger in my own home...
This may be what growing seems to be...
But what is this feeling of discontent, hollow inside me??
Masking my intuition, leaving me lost without direction...